Bleeding Kansas

In March 1855 at a Kansas election, 6,000 Southerners dropped by from Missouri to stuff ballot boxes. They had no right to vote, but they voted anyway, waving pistols to "prove their rights." 

Only 2,000 Kansas settlers voted, so the winning legislators lived mostly in Missouri and favored slavery, which genial President Franklin Pierce, a Democrat, did not, but he recognized those Missouri ruffians anyway.

Scholars often list Pierce as one of our worst presidents--along with Herbert Hoover and George W. Bush.

Coming soon 

in Thieves, Rascals & Sore Losers: A Saucy History of a Nebraska County Seat War by Marilyn June Coffey

from: a JoLt of CoFFeY 

 An Intermittent Newsletter

by Marilyn June Coffey

www.marilyncoffey.net

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Wild Jim

His name was Jim Lane, but folks called him Wild Jim. Ruffians looting his hometown of Lawrence, Kansas, drove him wild.

Although a Free State leader, Wild Jim was odd and poorly educated. He wore a fancy jacket that hung open to reveal his trademark calfskin vest, his hair stood up every which way and his mouth geysered obscenities.

But he possessed amazing energy. Wanted for treason, he fled Kansas to return with an army of a thousand men. They walloped Ruffians, tit for tat.

Time passed. When Kansas became a free state, its voters promptly elected Wild Jim Lane, no longer wanted for treason, to the U.S. Senate.

Hotheads

Hotheads in Congress have such a history! Here's a 1856 shenanigan.

Senator Charles Sumner of Massachusetts had ranted for two days. On his second day, he called Senator Andrew Butler of South Carolina an imbecile.

Two days later, Sumner sat writing letters at his Senate desk. He failed to notice Representative Preston Brooks until he spoke: "Mr. Sumner. I have read your speech twice over. It libels South Carolina, and my white-haired old relative, Senator Butler, and I've come to punish you for it."

As Sumner started to rise, Brooks attacked, smashing the Senator's skull with a gold-headed cane, knocking him under his desk. As Brooks walloped him, the Senator, quite tall, struggled to rise from under the heavy desk, which was bolted to the floor. Blood gushed down his face.

Just another morsel from THIEVES RASCALS & SORE LOSERS, a saucy Nebraska history by Marilyn June Coffey.

Of Chiwere & Bacon

He spoke Chiwere, native tongue of Otoes and the Missouria, so William Parker Carr was a natural choice to move the 700 Indians to their new reservation. After, of course, Washington D.C fleeced both tribes of their lands and they had nowhere else to go.

Practical Carr had plenty of food—flour, bacon, and sixty head of cattle.  So he invented a strategy to make excellent time with a minimum of fuss on the 75-mile trip. 

The first day, he distributed five cows plus ample flour and bacon to the 700 travelers. He waited until all ate their fill. Then he announced where their next meal would be served. Just as he expected, the Otoes and the Missouria sped to the next location.

Just another tidbit from THIEVES RASCALS & SORE LOSERS, a saucy Nebraska history by Marilyn June Coffey.

Bull Whackers

Ever yearn to be a bull whacker, driving a team of eight oxen, heading to Fort Laramie? 

William Parker Carr did, whacking his bullocks to get them to move..

"Off he went, inspiring his oxen team to move alongside the flat, meandering Platte River. 

"By night around the campfire, Carr listened to bull whackers' tales: About the guy who drove a flock of turkeys a thousand miles to Utah. Or the chap who hauled frozen oysters to market along the trail. Or the freighter who made a mint selling cats to Denver miners. They used the cats as mousers—or even as companions. At least that's what those bull whackers said.

"And by day Carr brandished his long whip until it split the sky with cracks. Highdy, highdy, highdy, haw! He also engaged in the fine art of twisting an ox's tail to get his attention."

Read about it 

in my upcoming book, THIEVES, RASCALS & SORE LOSERS.

April 1

28 days to April 1 when my latest book, THIEVES, RASCALS & SORE LOSERS, materializes.

Here's a smidgen of the 62,000 words I wrote:

from Chapter 1, Hauling Mail on a Mule

In 1853, William Parker Carr crossed Old Muddy in a flat-bottomed wooden boat that lurched from bank to bank. 

When he stumbled from the ferry, he set his boots on Unorganized Territory. It wasn't Nebraska yet, but it would be soon. 

Carr landed six miles south of Table Creek where he found his first job: delivering mail on a mule. If he'd been smart, he would have declined. The last mail carrier set out with his load of letters and never came back, perhaps because the mail route crossed the land of the Pawnee, those skilled robbers of horses and mules. 

But Carr needed a job so he took it. 

BELLY RAP

Who knows what lesson a lover may bring. Take Jack, who caressed my naked stomach and said, "My, I sure do love your fat little belly."

My fat belly? Surely I misheard. Surely he said, "Flat."

But later, bare-skinned before my mirror, I had to admit that my flat belly had mysteriously disappeared.

Like my once brown hair 

Like my wisdom teeth 

Like my days dissolving into decades.

from the author of PRICKSONGS: Tart Poems from the Sixties 

http://www.amazon.com/Pricksongs-Marilyn-Coffey