Wednesday, January 30, 2013

My One-Step Diet

My One-Step Diet

I've found it, I've found it, the Wonderful Foolproof Diet you can start in an instant. Don't have to buy a superfood like Dr. Oz's Green Coffee Extract. Don't have to worry about calculating of your BMI (Body Mass Index) or your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate). No drug/supplement regimen to follow.

Just one simple rule: "Don't Eat So Much."  (My diet is unrelated to Dr. Ted Shminky's The Just Don't Eat So Much Goddamn Food Diet Plan. I offer you no profanity or cute cartoons.)

Think of all the things you won't have to do:
  • weigh in at Weight Watchers
  • eat a raw food diet, or the cabbage diet, or the lemonade diet
  • worry about the 5 foods NEVER to eat
  • juggle a Balance Percentage Diet
  • ingest Fat Burning Hormones
  • consider 50 easy ways to lose weight
  • decide among 80 delicious menu options
  • sign up for adjustable gastric band surgery.

Of course, on my magical "Don't Eat So Much" Diet you have no guarantee that you'll lose 15 lbs in 4 weeks. Or even 1. 

I've been on it for a month now, and have lost and gained a pound, lost and gained a half pound, and in this way I've lost a total of 40 pounds (and only gained back 39. That's progress, isn't it?)

So just eat less. 

And let me know how you do.

1 comment:

  1. I've been on that diet for a year. Lost eight pounds and only gained five back. Some days, I'm actually down six pounds.

    Did I mention I've worked out almost every day?

    Hardly worth it, is it?